How do I help children understand the effects of their words?

This talk was given at a local TEDx event. Cyber bullying is a big problem! This young girl is passionate about stopping cyberbullying before it starts. Trisha Prabhu is a 14-year-old student at Neuqua Valley High School in Naperville, Illinois. From a young age, she has been fascinated with the inner workings of the brain. In 2013, Trisha heard about young girl’s suicide due to bullying on the Internet and set out to find a long-term solution to cyber-bullying. Watch this video and share it with your children. It is my hope that you will work collaboratively to come up with way you yourself and fight against cyberbullying in your schools and communities.

Want to hear more? Let's talk about it... comment below with your thoughts, questions and concerns. 

Are you a teacher or school staff member who has to deal with cyberbullying and it's consequences? Check out the videos below and let me know what you think! 

My child, the bully??

Many people worry about their child being bullied but many do not consider what they will do if their child becomes the bully. As with any unexpected behavior, the focus of parents and teachers is to change the behavior.  Here are some things we can do in the classroom and at home to help change the behavior of a cyber bully. 

• Tend to your feelings separately. Realizing that you child is a bully will bring you lots of emotions. You may feel guilty, embarrassed, angry and even hurt. Your job will be to keep your personal feeling apart from the work with your child. Your work with them needs to focus on their actions, motivations and needs, not yours.
• Identify who needs to be apart of this change process and who does not. Creating a team of people to help support the child through the process is important. This team can encompass parents, teachers, school counselors, religious leaders and whomever else you determine is most important to this process. The goal is to identify everyone that will be supporting the changes that your child needs to make in a collaborative and effective manner.
• Sit down with your child. Of course a series of conversations must be held with your child. It is important for the conversation to be cal and focus on the actions of the child. Let your child know that you are aware of their actions and ask them to tell you the full extent of what they have done. Try to listen without jumping into solve it mode. Ask questions about how long it has been going on, who was involved, and what forms of technology were used. Ask them to show you any evidence of their bullying (text, emails, messages etc.) 
• Identify the motivation. Although there is no excuse for bullying, it is important to understand why your child chose to bully someone else. Is it retaliation, do they think it was funny, was there a stressor at home, or is there some other underlying issue that needs to be addressed?
• Identify and relay the consequences. Remember that there is no action taken in life without a reaction (consequence). Although there may be consequences imposed by your child's school, you must also let your child know that you do not approve of their behavior. All consequences do not need to be predetermined, they can be modified as the story continues to be unveiled. 
• Reparations and restitution is necessary. Stopping your child from bullying others is a key step but the change process isn't over until they have changed their hear and made honest attempts at reparations. Your child must be required to remove all form of cyberbullying, to the best of their ability. When appropriate, they should also be required to post about the error of their ways along with an apology to the victim. Either way, be it in public or in private, your child must apologize to their victim. It is the hope that they will then be able to become more empathetic and internally change their thinking.  

If appropriate, your child may benefit from listening to stories of families who have been effected by cyberbullying.